Introduction
Work environments sometimes offer circumstances where employees may be subjected to verbal abuse from others, including patients, vendors, customers, and others. These circumstances may result in emotional and/or physical injury if left unchecked. It is important that employees understand how best to react in these circumstances. This RiskTopic offers tips on how one may de-escalate challenging persons before a violent event occurs.
Discussion
Effectively dealing with an angry, hostile, or aggressive person using verbal de-escalation techniques is an important practice for preventing injury to oneself or the other party. These tips1 may help employees to respond to others safely and effectively.
Guidance
Tip 1-Be empathic and nonjudgmental.1
It is important not to judge individuals expressing negative behavior or to discount their feelings. Pay attention to the person, as their feelings are real to them, whether you think the feelings are justified or not. Give the individual time to tell their story or verbalize their complaint.
A simple act of empathy by offering a tissue if the person is crying may help to control the situation. It will help them feel that you are trying to understand the situation and that you care.
You must not take their reactions personally. Try to look at how you are interacting with those around you. Ask yourself if the problem is you or the other individual. When necessary, remove yourself from the situation, take a deep breath, and re-evaluate your behavior toward the individual.
Tip 2-Respect personal space.1
Recommendations from sources for allowing adequate personal space vary from 1.5’ to 6’. The main point to remember is not to crowd the person and to allow enough space for your personal safety. Allowing for personal space may decrease the person’s anxiety and help to prevent the individual from acting out behavior.
If you must get in the personal space of another, explain your actions ahead of time so the person will not feel threatened, frightened, or more confused.
Tip 3-Use nonthreatening nonverbals.1
Be mindful of your gestures, facial expressions, movements, and tone of voice. Try to keep your body language neutral, breathe, and avoid defensive postures (such as placing your arms crossed in front of you or bent at the sides of your waist area). Remind yourself that this is not about you, but the other person’s feelings. Do not blow up because of your own frustrations.
Tip 4-Avoid overreacting.1
Remain calm, rational, and professional. While you cannot control someone else’s behavior, you can control how you respond to their behavior. One way to acknowledge the situation is to say, “I feel like we are getting off on the wrong foot”. This may help to calm down the other person so the issues can be discussed more rationally.
Tip 5-Focus on feelings.1
Some people have a hard time understanding what is happening to them. Watch and listen for the true message. If a person is screaming at you or getting angry, it may be because they are fearful about the situation and/or feel helpless. If you provide supportive words, you may get a positive response in exchange.
Tip 6-Ignore challenging questions.1
Answering challenging questions may result in a power struggle. In these situations, it may be best to ignore the challenge and try to bring the focus back to working together to solve the issue or problem in a respectful manner. By redirecting the person’s attention back to the issue and how you might help them, they may step back from the authority challenged.
Tip 7-Set limits.1
Employees should give simple and enforceable limits when a person’s behavior is defensive, disruptive, or belligerent. By offering clear and positive limits, instead of a negative reaction, followed by the consequences if they do not abide (i.e. calling law enforcement or security, refusing to medically treat), the employee is may find that the individual is more likely to calm their emotions.
Tip 8-Choose wisely what you insist upon.1
Offering options instead of merely saying that a person must do exactly what you tell them, when you tell them, and how you tell them, may help individuals to feel they have some control over their situations.
Tip 9-Allow silence for reflection.1
Sometimes saying nothing at all is the answer, as it gives the other person a chance to reflect on what is happening. Silence can be a “golden” and a powerful communication tool. By letting the person shout for a reasonable period of time, you allow them also to release pent-up energy. You may also be able to hear the real reasons for the outburst, often related to fear and helplessness. Listen closely for that real message so you can restate to the person what you think you understood.
Tip 10-Allow time for decisions.1
Because angry individuals may not be able to think clearly after you have given them a calm response, let them think through what you have said so they do not feel rushed. This is particularly important when decisions about the complaints they have verbalized must be addressed.
Conclusion
Each situation will be different, and these 10 tips are offered as options depending on the occurrence. It is hoped that these methods to de-escalate upset and angry individuals will be remembered and practiced to avoid physical and emotional injury potential to all parties. While these tips1 are intended to assist employees in responding to angry and/or hostile persons safely and effectively, it may be appropriate to consult with local human resources or legal advisors on the applicability of these techniques in each jurisdiction prior to implementation.
References
Eilers, Emily. “CPI’s Top 10 De-escalation Tips Revisited”. Crisis Prevention Institute. https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/CPI-s-Top-10-De-Escalation-Tips-Revisited. June 28, 2022.